The longer I live away from Iowa, the more awesome I remember it being.  This is a problem, because one day maybe I’ll move back to Iowa and I will have brainwashed myself into thinking that Iowa was so amazing that I will be disappointed.

For instance, I have nearly convinced myself that:

All sweet corn in Iowa is like ambrosia.

Roads in Iowa never have potholes.

On and off ramps to the freeway are way, way safer.

Chiggers don’t bite.

Mosquitos?  What are those?

Northern Lights are regularly visible.

All cows love me.

Cedar Rapids is the best town in the whole world.

Iowa license plates are beautiful, I mean, what other state has a silo on theirs?

(OK, they’re all stretching it except the one about Cedar Rapids.  That one is totally true.)  I think the longer I live down South the more distorted my perception of reality becomes.  I am slightly concerned for my mental health.