Monthly Archives: December 2008

Why Watching the Ball Drop Would Be Way Cooler If I Was In Charge

Why Watching the Ball Drop Would Be Way Cooler If I Was In Charge

When I was about 11 or so, my friend Nicki invited me over to have New Year’s Eve at her house.

“We can watch the ball drop,” she said.

“WOAH.  What is that?” I asked, fascinated.  I was 11 and had no TV, I had no clue about this ball that dropped and Nicki seemed so sophisticated for knowing such things.

“It’s in New York and it drops at midnight.”

“Seriously?  What does it look like?” I asked.

“Um, it’s glass and has lots of lights in it,” she replied.  Then she handed me another Atomic Fireball.  (I lived off those things when I was a kid.  Joey hates them and he won’t kiss me if I’ve been eating them now, which I think is discrimination.)

I was so excited for New Year’s Eve now.  I was going to watch a big glass ball (WITH LIGHTS EVEN!) get thrown off a skyscraper roof and crash to the ground and break into a million glittering shards of glass at precisely midnight.

I ask you, what could be cooler?!?  A fantastic way to usher in the New Year, ain’t so?

Well, there I was at Nicki’s house on New Year’s Eve.  A sleepy 11 year old, trying desperately to look like I was super awake and not at all tired, because that would be extremely uncool – HELLO!, and buzzing with excitement about the very cool glass ball carnage I was about to witness on “live TV”.  (I was 11.  I didn’t quite understand the time difference thing.  Plus we didn’t have a TV at home.)

“There’s the ball,” Nicki pointed out.

“Wow,” I said.

Then, suddenly, the ball began to descend.  ON A POLE.  In just a few moments I could tell that it was not going to break into a million billion pieces, and I grew very disillusioned.

“Nuts, I wanted it to break,” I said.

“Yeah, it doesn’t break,” Nicki said.  Then she handed me another Atomic Fireball.

And that was my anticlimactic New Year’s celebration.  Every single year since then I have tried to watch the ball drop, in hopes that something dreadful will happen and it will break off its pole and go crashing to the ground.

If I was the New Year’s Eve boss, there would totally be a glass ball full of lights getting launched off a skyscraper, only I’d have the math all worked out so it would explode into the concrete at the very instant the clock struck midnight.

I plan to watch said ball drop tonight.  It will probably be lame, just like every other year, but a girl can hope…right?

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Lazy Pants

Lazy Pants

I’m wearing my Lazy Pants today.  These pants do in no way indicate that I will be lazy today, they just indicate that I was feeling lazy when I got dressed, and also wanted to maximize my clothing comfort.  (My Lazy Pants kind of feel like loungies.  It’s great.)  Today is going to be:

  • long
  • stressful
  • lame
  • a late night

I’ve never been a huge fan of New Year’s Eve, because it requires staying up to midnight, something I hate to do.  Even in college I went to bed unnaturally early.

And, just as an aside, I have heard Weezer’s Pork And Beans WAY MORE TIMES in the last week than I’ve heard it in the entire span of my life prior to this past week.  Joey has been rocking out to it regularly while he lays on the futon with Henry and they read togther.

(Well, Joey reads and Henry sleeps.  Although I don’t see how he can sleep through Pork And Beans.)

Due to this overexposure to Pork And Beans, I now have that stupid song in my head right now.  Had it in my head this morning during my shower.  Had it in my head last night.  I’m about to take my head off just so I can get the song out of it.

…I’ll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene…

GAH!  MAKE IT STOP! I mean, I like candy (duh) and pork and beans are OK, I guess, but I’d never eat candy with pork and beans…the song is just ridiculous.

My Nativity Set

My Nativity Set

For Christmas, Joey got me the Ox and Goat figurines for my Willow Tree Nativity scene.  I love Willow Tree Nativity scenes, and I actually have two (the big one and the little one, and half of the little one stays out all year).  I was so excited about the aforementioned Ox and Goat figurines, especially the Ox.

5ceaf093100c8b7daba5e3c478dacd7eimage240x208“He’s the coolest animal in my whole set,” I told Joey.

This is high praise considering the black sheep were my favorites up until this year.  I put them away during the year and only take them out at Christmas, so as to heighten my enjoyment of seeing them.

What.  It’s not that weird.

But seriously, the Ox’s horns are sharp.  I poked myself with them just to be sure, and they are definitely weapons.

So on Sunday I was sitting in church, right before the sermon, and I got to thinking.

With my Ox and Goat, do I now have more animals in my Nativity scene than people? I did some quick calculations on my bulletin and discovered that, nope, I sure don’t have more animals.  Especially not if I count baby Jesus twice.

I need three more animals to tie.

I know there’s a huge donkey or something for the big Nativity, but it costs like a million bucks so I’ll probably never get that.  Plus I have no place to keep him on my mantle, the big Mary and Joseph barely fit as it is.  But I was also pretty sure that the little Nativity had some extra stable animals you could purchase in a set, aside from the black sheep and camel that come with the Shepherd and Stable Animals pack.  (I told you, I have the whole set and I know their names.  I’m serious about this stuff.)

So I looked all over the interwebs.

I was sure I had seen them.

Apparently I was, like, wrong or something.  Dagnabbit.  The only animals that seem to come in an extra set are the Ox and Goat, which I received from my awesome Joey for Christmas.

I’ma have to do some more looking in stores, though, because I was almost sure there was another sheep set.

I remember when Mom got her new Nativity scene all those years ago (to replace the plaster ones we had where the heads fell off and we had to glue them back on, remember those?) and she’d leave it out all year.  I’d play with it and pretend I was Mary and Joseph, looking for a place to spend the night.  And I’d pretend I was the shepherds in the fields keeping watch over their flocks by night.  I’d pretend I was the angel, bringing good tidings of great joy to those shepherds.  And, sometimes, I’d pretend that I was one of the stable animals that was keeping baby Jesus warm.  (I had a seriously active imagination growing up.)

When I have kids someday I want to have a Nativity scene that they can play with and use to imagine the Christmas story.  I love to have mine out all year, too, so I can look over at it and remember why we celebrate Christmas, because of Jesus – that baby born in a stable – and how He affects our lives all year…not just on December 25.

But I still hope there is another set of animals that wasn’t on the interwebs.  I know baby Jesus is the most important part (which is why I counted him twice) but…but the animals enhance the Nativity.  Seriously.  They do.

Recipe for…delicious? disaster?

Recipe for…delicious? disaster?

Joey bought me a new program for my lappy over the weekend, MacGourmet.  I think I’m going to love it, once I get it all set up.  It’s one of those nerdy recipe softwares that has all your ingredients, the method, everything (but YOU have to be the one to type it all in) and then it generates your shopping list.

It’ll even tell you what aisle in the grocery store it’s in…once, you input that info too.

In a feverish burst of I AM SO TASK-ORIENTED IT’S RIDICULOUS, I typed 65 recipes into MacGourmet in the last three days.  I was getting kind of burnt out on it, but I know that as soon as I get everything typed in I will love it.

But I’m also going to have to go to the stores and record what aisle everything lives in.  (And if they move things around two weeks after I do this, I will go ape on the grocery store managers.  Just see if I don’t.)

All of this recipe reading over the last three days has really gotten to me, though.  Yesterday I tried a new cookie recipe, made some fruit hors d’oeuvres, and whipped up a batch of honey-oat wheat bread, all in between typing recipes.

I hate having projects loom over my head.  I’m itching to get home tonight and type in 10 more recipes.  (I have set myself a 10 recipe per day limit, except on days I have off, on those days I can do 20 or 30.)

Sometimes I’m a little bit too much of a micromanager on myself, methinks.

It’s December 26 and it is 77 degrees outside…

It’s December 26 and it is 77 degrees outside…

Last night we went to see Marley and Me.  It was supposed to be a comedy, but can I just say that I was like weeping for the last 20 minutes of the stupid movie.  Actually, I wasn’t “like weeping”, I actually was weeping.

Joey only cried one tear.

Me?  My neck got wet, and when your neck gets wet from crying over a movie, that’s never a good sign.

Anyways, be forwarned, that movie’s hilarious until the last 20 minutes.  Then break out the Puffs Plus.

So, after seeing Marley and Me, Joey and I came home and hugged the heck out of poor Henry, who couldn’t understand why my face smelled like salt.  “Don’t die Buddy, don’t ever die,” I whispered to him.

And so today, we took him to the park.

It’s 77 degrees outside, which is creepy for the day after Christmas, but we prevailed.  We made guac and salsa wraps, grabbed some leftover of Jesus’ birthday cake (because His birthday was yesterday, in case you forgot) and leashed up Henry.

“We’re going to the park,” I told him.  He looked at me like I was smelly, which is true.  I haven’t showered since at least Wednesday, but I am not even positive about that.

It was windy.  Henry was cute.  Joey was tired.  I was unshowered.

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Henry’s lovin’ the combination of warm weather and the picnic blanket.  He somehow manages to get on the picnic blanket before it’s even fully spread out on the ground, he likes the scratchy sound it makes against the grass.

Can you say SPOILED ROTTEN?

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Yes, my dear photographer friends, I realize that this picture isn’t fully in focus.  (But Joey’s calves are sort of in focus…)  Henry just looks like he’s sassing in this picture, which is what makes it money, in my opinion.  I imagine that The Brother is just outside the frame and Hen’s sticking his tongue out at him.  Hen always spazzes out on The Brother.

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“Look at us, we’re cuddling,” Joey said.

“Looks to me like Henry’s being trapped,” I replied.

That is totally the face of a trapped puppy dog, ain’t so?

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And, Laura Stiller, this one’s for you.

Yep, that’s Henry’s head stuffed in the tupperware, licking out the remainder of the birthday cake.  (Don’t worry, I ran it through the dishwasher afterwards.)

Hope your day after Christmas is as lazy and relaxing as ours is…I think I’ma go take a nap now.  Or maybe not, because I’m currently drinking a Pepsi and it has given me the jibblies.

Jibbly jibbly jibbly.

I won’t be able to sleep tonight as it is, so I probably shouldn’t try to take a nap.

Jibbly jibbly jibbly.

Christmas Dinner

Christmas Dinner

For Christmas dinner, we made steak.

Iowa steak.

From the backyard.

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Per Pops’ instructions, we put the meat tenderizer on about 1:00 and left it in the fridge to get all perfect.  I gotta say, these steaks turned out to be the most delicious I’ve had in a long time.  They were melt-in-your-mouth good.

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We also grilled veggies, made cheesy potatoes and threw together some guac (for Christmas Joey got me all the ingredients to make it, so we whipped up a batch this afternoon) for our delicious Christmas dinner.

The guac rocked my socks off.  We’re making some more tomorrow and doing it slightly differently; Joey got 3 avocados, so we have plenty of room to try new recipes.  YUM.

The icing on the Christmas Dinner cake?

Jesus’ birthday cake, of course.  This year’s edition was Red Velvet.

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It was really, really good.

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This is a look that Joey sees across the dinner table a lot.  Especially when he has his camera out and is taking pictures like he’s a card-carrying member of the paparazzi, which he was at this particular meal.

After dinner we cleaned up in a jiffy (which was nice, it being Christmas and all) and headed back to the Country Club to videochat with my fam in Indiana again.  For the second time today.  We managed to pick up the tail end of their gift exchange, just in time to see Gramps open the last present.  It was a book, The New Deal or The Raw Deal.  Sounds like fascinating reading.

Mom got a cute red sweater with a ruffle, I don’t think Pops actually did get a sweater this year (which is highly unusual) so I’m not sure what kind of new clothing he’ll be sporting, and rumor has it that The Kid actually got a sweater too.  I hope it’s a cardigan, the kind like Pops wears to work.  That would make my entire 2008 if The Kid got one of those navy blue cardigans.

(Oh please, please tell me that’s what Grandma got you, man.)

And, for a bonus, here are some pictures of Henry doing his Henry thing.

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Don’t tell me that’s not the cutest picture you’ve seen all day, because if you try to say that I’ll know you’re lying.

(And MIL…sorry about Po.  Henry laid claim to him and sogged up his nose before I knew what was happening.)

dsc_6599The best end to Christmas is burying your puppy dog head in a bunch of toys you already owned…spurning the gift you got today, which is laying on the floor, just outside the picture.

Yep.  That’s Christmas at our house.

Merry Christmas EVERYONE!!

Merry Christmas EVERYONE!!

Merry Christmas from Joey and I.  We’ve been up since 8:30 having a Christmas par-tay, just the two of us.

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We opened stockings last night and I got a SIGG water bottle (which I have named Siggy), so I hauled it to church with me and slurped on it when I wasn’t singing.  My throat’s kinda sore.

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Joey received a pedometer (y’all should have seen his face, it was kind of hilarious) and a 6 month subscription to Mental Floss Magazine.  OKOK, his stocking was kind of lame when you compare it with Siggy, but whatever.  I ran out of money.

This morning, we woke up bright and early (8:30) and went to get all set up in the living room for presents.  Joey poured himself a large glass of egg nog and set it on the coffee table, then went back into the bedroom for some reason or another.

A few minutes later he went back out into the living room and I heard him yell, “HENRY!”

“What?” I asked, coming out of the bathroom, toothbrush in hand.

Henry knocked over Joey’s glass of eggnog.

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It was everywhere.   He was covered.  Can I just say that eggnog is really thick and gross and hard to clean up?

Henry got a pre-present bath while Joey tried to get the eggnog out of the carpet.

Henry is fired.

I blame The Brother for this, though.  When we were home at Thanksgiving The Brother consumed copious amounts of eggnog, and I figure he fed some to Henry on the sly, thus addicting Henry.  Seriously, otherwise how would  Henry know that eggnog is “delicious” (I don’t really like it) enough to knock a glass over in order to get to it?

My rationale is awesome.

Despite previous claims, Henry did get one present, but it only cost $3, so I figure that it barely counts.

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It was another one of those dehydrated cow noses, and he was super, super excited.

After we gave him his present, we wrapped him up in the leftover wrapping paper, which he hated.

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Can’t say as I blame him much, but then he did knock over the eggnog.  Just desserts.

After we were done with gifts, Joey and I made monkey bread and read the Christmas story while we ate it.  We even made Henry sit on the couch too, and he was a pretty good boy.

That’s Christmas so far.  We’re currently checking  movie times and we’ll probably walk over to the AMC and see Marley and Me later.  It’s irritatingly warm out.  Also we plan to grill steaks, make guac and have Jesus’ birthday cake for dinner tonight.  YUM.

Well…that’s all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Using scrapbookblog.com, I’m uploading all my blog posts from 2006 (all 297 of them) and laying them out in book format.  Then I will click the “purchase” button and have all my posts bound into fancy book format, that way I can torture my children with “this is how weird I was when I was 26″ stories.

And also when they ask me “mommy, tell me a story from when you were a little girl”, like I used to ask my mommy, I can bust out one of my Books of Blog (I’ll be binding them by year) and read them one of those stories.

Ching.  No memory involved.  (I stink at remembering stuff I did as a kid.  It’s embarassing.)

The truly rockstar part is that scrapbookblog.com imports your blog’s photos, too!  Joey and I are really lame at printing off pictures.

That’s all.  I’m not promoting scrapbookblog.com any more now.  I promise.

OHMYGOSH.  All the posts are now uploaded…but the website takes out all paragraph formatting.  I now have 297 posts from 2006 to go through and update the paragraphing. This idea may not be so hot after all…