Monthly Archives: April 2009

Apr30

Our last semester of SF is OVER!

Posted on by
Our last semester of SF is OVER!

DTS has a program that pretty much all students have to go through called Spiritual Formation (SF).  Basically, they assign you to a group with four to five other couples and say “have community, grow together, and like it.”

Joey and I were originally hesitant and unsure of how this process would go, but we doubted we would like it.

After two years of a LOT of community and even more growing together, I can safely say that we have not only liked it, we have loved it.  I think we got the best SF group at DTS, and I’m so thankful for the experience.

Maybe a month or so ago, we got together with our SF buddies at Tietze Park on a blustery Spring Sunday afternoon to have a cookout and throw a Frisbee around.  It turned out to be a little too windy for the Frisbee, but the weather was just perfect for sitting in the sun, talking, and waiting for the boys to finish grilling the fajita meat.

I forgot my sunglasses at home, though, so I ran home quickly to grab them because the sun was killing my eyes.

I did not find out until several weeks later what happened WHILE I WAS GONE.

I’m a little sketchy on the details, but I think it went down like this.  Joey said to Danny, “I’m going to put Henry down the slide.  You catch him at the bottom.”

Danny said, “Oh, good idea.”

Laura (who barely tolerates Henry, and only because he’s my child) said, “Let me get my camera.”

No one asked Henry his opinion.

img_3854copy

img_3855

img_3856

Needless to say, Henry didn’t like the slide.  It also appears that he slipped through Danny’s grasp.

Some things are better discovered way, way after the fact.  (Like this one.)

I returned shortly after they were done terrorizing my child, none the wise to their shenanigans, and we ate copious amounts of guac while we waited for the fajitas to grill.

It was windy, so it took kind of a long time.

After we ate our lunch, we took our final semesteral group SF picture.  (Semesteral is like annual, only it happens every semester.)  But first, here are our friends…

img_3864copy

Josh & Laura

Josh is good at math and Laura is good at photography. (This is not the same Laura that took pictures of Henry going down the slide, that’s a different Laura.)  Laura works at DTS and currently spends a lot of time organizing Commencement, and Josh goes to DTS where he spends a lot of time studying.   They have a kitty named Hendricks who had to wear a cone on his head for a really long time.  Unless plans have changed since I talked to them last, Josh is going to enroll in Ph.D school somewhere and then teach theology at a university somewhere.

img_3893copy

Luke & Becca (& Riley)

Luke & Becca were only married for, like, three weeks when we met them at our first SF meeting.  Becca’s a 1st grade teacher at Grace Academy (the private school that meets in our church) and Luke studies his brains out.  This summer they’re heading off to Haiti where they’ll take over for some missionary friends of theirs who are going to be on leave for the summer.  (We were going to go visit them, but plane ticket prices skyrocketed.)  I think they’ll go back to Haiti permanently after graduation, which will be in 2 years for them.  We’ll totally miss them, but it’ll be a great excuse to take our youth group kids to visit them on mission trips!

img_3894copy

Danny & Laura

Yes, this is the Danny and Laura from the “Henry down the slide” incident”.  Laura really likes taking photographs, and she’s good at it too!  She also saves tons and tons of money every week on groceries by being The Coupon Maven, which is awesome.  Oh, and she works in the same building that I do, so occasionally I see her coming and going.  Danny studies hard at DTS, volunteers at their church, leads a home group, and I’m sure does  a lot more than that.  These two are going to be church planters, and it’s something they’re passionate about.  I think they’ll be great.

img_3895copy

Joey & Me (and Henry!)

Gosh, what don’t you already know about the three of us?!  Um, Joey’s due to graduate next May, and we’re going to do youth ministry.  We are currently working with high schoolers at our church because they keep us young and hip.  And mostly because we love them.

img_3885copy

So, as you can see, these two years have been great for us.  We’ve been surrounded by three other coupls who are mature, amazing, wise and so much fun.  We have grown tons, laughed a lot, and had a great time.  There have been definitely those moments where I wondered if it was going to be worth it, but in the end I’d have to say…

…it was.

Apr28

Swine Flu Quiz

Posted on by
Swine Flu Quiz

Because I kind of feel like garbage this afternoon and because Brother is full of wit and stuff, we collaborated and came up with a quiz to determine if The Kid could possibly have Swine Flu. (We think it’s likely.)

I’m posting the aforementioned quiz here for your general edification and information, as we all know that it’s best to find out whether or not we could have Swine Flu.

Do I Have Swine Flu?

1.) Have you ever asked for your inheritance from your father and then run away, only to find yourself feeding swine?

a. yes

b. no

2.) Do you feel tired and feverish?

a. yes

b. no

3.) Do you feel your neighborhood has a limited number of muddy wallowing puddles?

a. yes

b. no

4.) Do you cough and wheeze?

a. yes

b. no

5.) Do you snort more than or equal to the amount Sister does? (Which can be a lot if she really gets to laughing hard.)

a. yes

b. no

6.) Have you recently traveled to Mexico?

a. yes

b. no

7.) Did you ever poke Homer’s hue pigs with sticks just to see what would happen?

a. yes

b. no

8.) Do you have headaches and body aches?

a. yes

b. no

9.) Do you find yourself thinking about asking Miss Piggy to dinner?

a. yes

b. no

10.) Have you recently broken Mosaic Law and consumed pork?

a. yes

b. no

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s likely that you have swine flu and should seek medical attention immediately.  Your life is probably in grave danger, and we don’t want to catch it from you.

Please be advised that this quiz is for entertainment purposes only and claims no actual medical knowledge or benefit. Your should probably go get yourself checked out if you feel like garbage anyway.

Apr28

Out like a light

Posted on by
Out like a light

Not one month ago, I was sitting with some girls and we were discussing fainting.

“I’ve never fainted,” I said, “But I should dearly like to, just to see what it’s like.”

Well, today I got my wish.

I had an appointment with my doctor for 9:00, so I got up a little bit early and did a bunch of stuff around my house (empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry, iron some clothes) and got distracted by all my busywork and forgot to eat breakfast.  I also forgot to drink copious amounts of water, but whatever.

After I saw my doc, she looked at me and said “now we’ll draw some of your blood.”

Um, what?

I don’t really like getting my blood sucked, and I like to have advance notice so I can mentally prepare myself.

I paid my bill and went over to the blood sucking station, where three (THREE) large (LARGE) vials sat next to the chair, obviously waiting for me.

“Are you using all of those?” I asked the tech.

“Yep,” she said, cinching up my right arm with the druggie elastic to try to get my vein to pop out.  It didn’t.  “This arm’s no good, gimme your left arm,” she said.

I crossed my left arm over my body in a really awkward position, and attempted to squeeze the brain stress reliever in my left hand, but my left hand/wrist is kind of wimpy.

“Oh good, this one’s better,” she said, and stabbed me with the venomous blood sucking tool.

I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to watch the vial filling with my Jenna juice.

“Hmm, this is going really slow,” the tech said.

Great, just great.

She wasn’t kidding, it was going slow.  It took minutes to fill up the first vial, and by the time she got to the second and third, I really wasn’t feeling well.  I was wearing a gray sweater, and the longer I sat there the hotter I got.  I could feel a coldish/warmish sweat breaking out over my entire head (scalp included – weird) and thought This is not normal.  I have never felt like this.  Ever.

“Are you almost finished?” I asked, rather sharply.  I was just feeling so strange…

“Yep,” she said, shoving one of the vials back in to add some more blood.

“No, I’m serious, are you almost finished?  I am really feeling unwell,” I said.  I was beginning to feel warm, then cold, then warm, and I felt a swaying sensation, even though I was sitting down.  Not normal. Something is not normal…

Suddenly, I felt the tech remove the needle, and I began to feel really…jibbly, warm, and kind of buzzy.  That’s the last thing I remember.

I woke up a few moments later, laying back on a white pillow with three concerned faces hovering over mine.  “I think she’s going to be OK,” my doctor said.  The nurse poofed a thing of smelling salts in my face, causing me to cough very hard.  (Those things reek, by the way.)

“Did I pass out?” I asked.

“You sure did,” said the sweet nurse as she dabbed a very wet, cold washcloth over my face and neck, and effectively washing off all the makeup I had put on just two hours before.  Seeing that I wasn’t going to go down again, the tech sent someone for apple juice.  “It’s a good thing the doctor glanced down and saw you looking pale,” the nurse said.

They made me lay there for 15 minutes, until my apple juice was gone and my color returned, which makes me wonder what exactly I looked like when I was out.  Too bad no one took a picture.  I have also been instructed to always, always eat food before coming to the doc.  (Just in case they need to draw blood or something.)

Well, at least I can say I’ve passed out now.

Apr26

Holy.Cow.

Posted on by
Holy.Cow.

I receved a phone call from The Brother this afternoon.  It went something like this:

Brother: Ohai.

Me:  Ohai.  (that’s from LOLcats.)

Brother:  Uhhhhh, go check your email.

Me:  Why?

Brother: Because.  I may or may not have done something with one of our family pictures kind of like I did tons of years ago.

Me:  OH SWEET!

So I just checked my email.  I was shocked, awed and horrified by what I found.  Let me first illustrate Brother’s devious nature by showing you the original of the photo he mashed up.

dsc_6427 See?  We all look pretty normal here, like a respectable Iowa family.  This is my entire Laird side of the clan at Pops’ surprise birthday par-tay which we held at good old Faith Bible Church over Thanksgiving last year.  It was a shindig to remember, ya’ll.  (Grandpa, Grandma, Dad’s sister Michele and her family, and of course my sibs and parents.)

Anyway, here’s what The Brother did to the picture.  I shudder as I post this.  It’s just so…creepy.

faces

Yeah.  Brother swapped everybody’s faces around.  It’s…it’s amazing in a creepy sort of way.  

OH BUT WAIT.  THERE’S MORE.  Brother had to go and get all egotistical on us…

andrew-facesFor those of you who are a little slow (like Joey – he got stuck on this one, couldn’t figure out why I was hyperventilating on the floor when he opened the picture) ALL OF THESE ARE BROTHER.  Yep.  That’s Brother Cameron and Brother Jenna and Brother Mom and Brother Grandpa…

Unbelievable.

I love my family.

 

Apr24

Nukular Bombs

Posted on by
Nukular Bombs

The Brother is an enginerd.

He works on fance-pantsy stuff at a company that shall henceforth remain nameless so I don’t get bombed for compromising national security.

Anyways, The Brother’s group is designing some new thingy just in case we should come under a nukular attack (I know, I know, it’s not spelled that way).  The President will come up to this big fancy board THAT BROTHER IS MAKING, which I like to imagine has lots of flashing lights and sirens and scrolling news headlines, and he will walk up to the big red button in the middle.  The President will press that button and then KASHOOOOOOOOOK!  Blastoff go our nukular warheads and then I guess they decimate whoever was trying to bomb us.

So last night I called The Brother and asked him how his project’s coming, and how soon it will be until Barack Obama will push his buttons.  (You know, for the nukular blastoff.)

Then I dissolved into giggles because HAHAHAHA!  Barack Obama pushes Brother’s buttons!

I couldn’t contain myself.

I’m not sure Brother thought it was as amazing as I did.

Apr24

She was That Lady

Posted on by
She was That Lady

You know when you have a class or a seminar, the first five minutes can tell you a lot about the people in the room with you…and who will be the most annoying.

Yesterday’s backpacking seminar was great — we learned a lot of really useful food-making tips and have some great ideas for our meals on the go.

HOWEVER.  (You just knew there would be one of those…)

We walked in and sat down in the back because we were just a touch late (I thought the class would be upstairs in the community room, but it was down in the sleeping bag section) and within twenty seconds, I figured out who the annoying person would be.

It was this lady the next row up from us.

She was totally old enough to know better, too…she probably has children my age. (Hi, mom!)

Anyway, That Lady was quick to point out that she had hiked at 12,000 foot elevation, and that her longest backpacking trip had been 10 days. (She said both of those at least twice.)  And, due to her experience and general Awesome, she supplemented the instructor’s curriculum ALL THE TIME.

It was getting so bad, that every time she’d open her mouth (which was more often than not) Joey and I would look at each other and cross our eyes.

And then, suddenly, she was telling us how the dehydrated meals have too much sodium, and in high altitudes (because she has backpacked at 12,000 feet so she knows what she’s talking about, y’all) then she gets constipated.

CONSTIPATED.

I did not want to know this about her.

T.M.I.

She also informed us that altitudes cause severe nausea, for her.  So between the constipation and the nausea, I can’t imagine she’s a very happy camper.

I wasn’t a very happy camper by forty five minutes into the seminar…all I wanted her to do was stop interrupting the instructor so he could tell us what he had planned. But it kept getting worse – she was starting to feel so comfortable that she started answering questions directed at the instructor.

At least she stopped talking about her digestive system, but the last twenty minutes were almost more of That Lady than the instructor.

Joey and I walked out of REI, completely exhausted from the back and forth competition of student (who insisted upon being That Lady) vs. teacher (who knew what he was talking about).

“Remind me how annoying it is when I act like I know everything,” Joey said.

“Oh, me too.  I’m sure I’ve done that before,” I said.  (Although, I’ve never hiked at 12,000 foot elevation, so it hasn’t been EXACTLY that…but same idea of I AM MORE SKILLED AWESOME THAN YOU, SO SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME.)

At least we got some good ideas about meals we can make on the trail without having to buy those nasty dehydrated ones (filled with sodium – beware the constpiation!) and we learned a little something about keeping our mouths shut, too.

Apr23

BACKPACKING!

Posted on by
BACKPACKING!

Joey and I are planning a backpacking trip to the Ouachita Trail in May.  It’s only a few hours away, and we’ll be trekking through Oklahoma and Arkansas – can’t wait!

Tonight we’re going up to REI for a seminar on food for backpacking trips.  We’re hoping it’s not just a “we offer these pre-packaged, freeze-dried meals” but actual recipes and ideas from trail savvy backpackers.

I suppose we’ll find out.

Yesterday, I ordered our water filter.  It was kind of exciting and made me feel like our trip is getting closer.  Just 29 days…

So, are any of you ultralight backpackers out there?  Any ideas for meals on the go?  We’ll be trekking for 4 days so we have to haul plenty o’ chow.

YAY for SUMMER!

Apr23

My Bloomin’ Balcony

Posted on by
My Bloomin’ Balcony

Yesterday, being Earth Day, was a super cool day.  I had big plans to plant something, but they went down the tubes after the coco liner I bought didn’t fit the hanging basket I already had (second try), so we’re going to have to just get a new hanging basket for the second tomato plant we bought.

Here’s what we’ve got growing on our balcony.  OK, I say “WE” but it’s mostly just “ME”.  Joey won’t touch the Liquid Seaweed (it’s organic fertilizer, and I’m considering getting Liquid Fish too).

plants-002

That’s my two parsley plants – one for me, one for the caterpillars who are super big parsley fans.  (If they start invading my balcony, I’ll just pick ‘em off one plant and put them on the other so they can munch on it.)

plants-0032This is my oregano and thyme.  I love the oregano, it looks so cute.  I’m actually using both in a recipe tonight, too, and I’m really looking forward to it.

plants-0062

My hanging tomato plant has grown SO much in the last week.  He’s gotten super long and is starting to curl up the side of the basket, which makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, I can keep him alive.

plants-004These are my baby peas.  I planted them from seed a week ago when I planted my tomato, and I just noticed they sprouted this morning!  I am unreasonably proud.  They’re growing in the basket on top of the tomato for two reasons:

  1. It is delicious to eat fresh peas
  2. They add nitrogen to the soil, which tomatoes think is nummy

basil-0043

My basil plant is getting huge, and it’s only been two weeks!  I’m very proud of it and can’t wait to eat some.  Because he’s less substantial than my other herbs, I’m waiting until the mid to end of March to trim off any leaves for cooking or otherwise.

You can also glimpse a bit of my new Roma tomato, which may go into his pot tonight or tomorrow.  I left him outside today so he could soak up some SUNLIGHT.

We planted a bush in a pot on our front balcony, and I really like the way it looks.  It makes me feel less like I live in an apartment, and more like maybe I actually have a yard.

plants-007He looks a bit lopsided in this picture, but I think he’ll round out a bit once I turn him in the sun.

Oh – and just for bonus?  This is not actually growing (well, maybe it is) but I found Henry in the bathroom this morning…like this…

plants-001Yep.  That’s my oldest child, half hidden under the shower curtain, all snuggled up with the bathtub.  I’m not sure what he was trying to do, but I think get in the shower to lick up the water was part of it and he just konked out halfway there.

We took him on a walk this morning and totally wore him out – he needs a haircut; he’s too warm.  Maybe this weekend…

Anyway, that’s all for now.  I need to throw away my cereal bowl, it smells like milk and is creeping me out.

(Why do I even bother to eat cereal anyway?)