Because I kind of feel like garbage this afternoon and because Brother is full of wit and stuff, we collaborated and came up with a quiz to determine if The Kid could possibly have Swine Flu. (We think it’s likely.)
I’m posting the aforementioned quiz here for your general edification and information, as we all know that it’s best to find out whether or not we could have Swine Flu.
Do I Have Swine Flu?
1.) Have you ever asked for your inheritance from your father and then run away, only to find yourself feeding swine?
a. yes
b. no
2.) Do you feel tired and feverish?
a. yes
b. no
3.) Do you feel your neighborhood has a limited number of muddy wallowing puddles?
a. yes
b. no
4.) Do you cough and wheeze?
a. yes
b. no
5.) Do you snort more than or equal to the amount Sister does? (Which can be a lot if she really gets to laughing hard.)
a. yes
b. no
6.) Have you recently traveled to Mexico?
a. yes
b. no
7.) Did you ever poke Homer’s hue pigs with sticks just to see what would happen?
a. yes
b. no
8.) Do you have headaches and body aches?
a. yes
b. no
9.) Do you find yourself thinking about asking Miss Piggy to dinner?
a. yes
b. no
10.) Have you recently broken Mosaic Law and consumed pork?
a. yes
b. no
If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, it’s likely that you have swine flu and should seek medical attention immediately. Your life is probably in grave danger, and we don’t want to catch it from you.
Please be advised that this quiz is for entertainment purposes only and claims no actual medical knowledge or benefit. Your should probably go get yourself checked out if you feel like garbage anyway.
Does it really matter if I break Mosaic Law if I’m not Jewish?
Of course, I don’t feel like garbage, so it doesn’t really matter, but I thought I should ask.
dude, this is hilarious. I laughed hard at the first one.
On a related note, Mary Jane told me that she went to buy her swine flu mask just in case and found that they are backordered for months…haha. She put her name on the list.
You live up to the “my funny friend Jenna that blogs” title every time. HILARIOUS. I am currently in Denver and will be flying back to Virginia on Sunday. I’m going to be so paranoid of every stinking cough.