Not one month ago, I was sitting with some girls and we were discussing fainting.

“I’ve never fainted,” I said, “But I should dearly like to, just to see what it’s like.”

Well, today I got my wish.

I had an appointment with my doctor for 9:00, so I got up a little bit early and did a bunch of stuff around my house (empty the dishwasher, fold the laundry, iron some clothes) and got distracted by all my busywork and forgot to eat breakfast.  I also forgot to drink copious amounts of water, but whatever.

After I saw my doc, she looked at me and said “now we’ll draw some of your blood.”

Um, what?

I don’t really like getting my blood sucked, and I like to have advance notice so I can mentally prepare myself.

I paid my bill and went over to the blood sucking station, where three (THREE) large (LARGE) vials sat next to the chair, obviously waiting for me.

“Are you using all of those?” I asked the tech.

“Yep,” she said, cinching up my right arm with the druggie elastic to try to get my vein to pop out.  It didn’t.  “This arm’s no good, gimme your left arm,” she said.

I crossed my left arm over my body in a really awkward position, and attempted to squeeze the brain stress reliever in my left hand, but my left hand/wrist is kind of wimpy.

“Oh good, this one’s better,” she said, and stabbed me with the venomous blood sucking tool.

I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to watch the vial filling with my Jenna juice.

“Hmm, this is going really slow,” the tech said.

Great, just great.

She wasn’t kidding, it was going slow.  It took minutes to fill up the first vial, and by the time she got to the second and third, I really wasn’t feeling well.  I was wearing a gray sweater, and the longer I sat there the hotter I got.  I could feel a coldish/warmish sweat breaking out over my entire head (scalp included – weird) and thought This is not normal.  I have never felt like this.  Ever.

“Are you almost finished?” I asked, rather sharply.  I was just feeling so strange…

“Yep,” she said, shoving one of the vials back in to add some more blood.

“No, I’m serious, are you almost finished?  I am really feeling unwell,” I said.  I was beginning to feel warm, then cold, then warm, and I felt a swaying sensation, even though I was sitting down.  Not normal. Something is not normal…

Suddenly, I felt the tech remove the needle, and I began to feel really…jibbly, warm, and kind of buzzy.  That’s the last thing I remember.

I woke up a few moments later, laying back on a white pillow with three concerned faces hovering over mine.  “I think she’s going to be OK,” my doctor said.  The nurse poofed a thing of smelling salts in my face, causing me to cough very hard.  (Those things reek, by the way.)

“Did I pass out?” I asked.

“You sure did,” said the sweet nurse as she dabbed a very wet, cold washcloth over my face and neck, and effectively washing off all the makeup I had put on just two hours before.  Seeing that I wasn’t going to go down again, the tech sent someone for apple juice.  “It’s a good thing the doctor glanced down and saw you looking pale,” the nurse said.

They made me lay there for 15 minutes, until my apple juice was gone and my color returned, which makes me wonder what exactly I looked like when I was out.  Too bad no one took a picture.  I have also been instructed to always, always eat food before coming to the doc.  (Just in case they need to draw blood or something.)

Well, at least I can say I’ve passed out now.