I made the mistake of calling The Brother for one reason or another on Saturday. Somehow, cleaning doggie’s backside glands came up. (I know, I know, it’s gross.)
“YOU do that YOURSELF?” I gasped, as Andrew sort of described it to me. Then I fell off the couch and onto the floor screaming and flailing and trying not to throw up. It was super gross.
“Yeah, and then you get the paper towel–” Whatever he said next was drowned out by my screaming.
“I can’t handle this,” I said. “I’m never doing that, I don’t care if it’s good for my dog.”
I’m sure The Brother was cackling sinisterly on his phone up in Iowa. I’m just sure of it.
“Next time Hen sees you,” I told him, “You’ll just have to show me how.”
My secret plan was just to always make The Brother take care of that creepy task whenever we saw him. But, as always, he was one step ahead of me. Or, rather, Laura was.
“Laura said she’d send you the YouTube tutorial on how to do it,” he said.
“I don’t want to see it,” I said.
“Well, she’ll send it to you.”
The next day, Joey and I went to get internet and, sure enough, Laura had sent me the YouTube clip. She’s very handy at following through on things she says she’ll do, she’s a teacher after all.
I made Joey download the clip, and we went home.
I got it all set up and prepared to watch. Joey vehemently refused to participate, in fact he left the house altogether and ran down to DTS to drop something off for some friends of ours (WHO ARE MOVING HERE – SCORE!)
Joey left me and locked the door behind him. I started the tutorial video and pulled Henry up in my lap so he could watch what it was that I was going to have to try to do to him. About 45 seconds into the video, the paper towl that The Brother had mentioned earlier became necessary.
It was so disgusting, I screamed bloody murder.
Joey was in the parking lot and heard me.
He now refuses to ever watch the video, no matter what I try to bribe him with.
I examined Henry carefully, and I couldn’t actually find the “glands” the lady in the video had been referencing. I choose to believe that my dog doesn’t have them. If he does, I certainly will not be attempting to clean them out anytime soon.
That’s what we have The Brother for, after all.
Muahahahaha.
Our vet will take care of those glands while Guillermo is getting checked up, so we don’t have to deal with it either.
I don’t need to see how it’s done though. It’s sounds gross.
That’s what VETS are for!
The sound of the ice cream truck outside was appealing until I read this post. Think I will go vomit in my mouth now.
Guapo doesn’t need that done. I saw that he needed it once and usually when they are scooting their bottom across the carpet they need that release. Just an FYI! I think Henry is good.