Two times during the night, my little Hoops and YoYo door-hanger that I got from Grandma last year decided to go off.  So there we were, at 4:00 a.m., sleeping like normal people when suddenly COME IN OUR ROOM, COME IN OUR ROOM, IT MAY NOT BE CLEAN BUT YOU’RE WELCOME TO COME INNNNNNN OUR ROOOOOOOOOM.  COME ON IN!!! came yelling from the closet door.

We were both kind of freaked out, understandably, but once we figured out that somehow the door-hanger had gotten turned back on and went off by itself, we fell asleep again.  Until about 5:30, when it happened again.

Oh my gosh.

Either we have ghosts in our house, or Gramps can remotely control that thing and he’s sitting in Indiana with an evil grin on his face and giggling while he sets it off.

(I vote for the theory about Gramps and the remote control.  That just sounds cooler.)

So, all this to say that this morning was a little weird for us.  And after all that, Joey felt like garbage when he woke up, so I told him to take his vitamins.  He did so, but only after drinking copious amounts coffee and taking Day-Quil.  I don’t suppose I need to tell you all that he upchucked them.

Off to a great start!

We were running I had my first labs for the IVF process.  We marched into Quest Diagnostics at 8:00 and I offered them my left arm.

It is always my left arm, because the right arm is uncooperative.  I do not understand why, this is just the way it is.  And if they even try for the right arm, Bad Things Happen.

So there.

I sat down in the chair and the lady whipped out four tubes.

“Uhhhh,” I wheezed.  “Uhhhhhh….”

“She’s going to need to lay down,” Joey said.  “Any more than one tube and she passes out.”

Also, I had failed to eat or drink much of anything before goign for these labs.  Not a smart move, Mrs. Woestman.  Not a smart move.

“Well, you’re just going to have to get used to this now that you’re pregnant,” the lab tech said.

Ehh?!

I almost corrected her, but I didn’t want to embarass her and really…it’s not a big deal.  But I couldn’t figure out why she thought I was pregnant.  Then I remembered she probably assumed it based on the requisition.

The tech stabbed me with the butterfly needle (again, must have butterfly or we get back to the Bad Things Happening bit I mentioned earlier) and the room began to wooze around me.

It takes a wicked long time to get four tubes out of me.  But about halfway through, I decided I was NOT going to pass out, thank you very much, and so I distracted myself with a picture of fish on the wall.

Somehow, I was successful.  Score one for the good guys.

(Although I did almost go down on the steps outside the building, but whatever.  Almost doesn’t count.)

We drove straight to CVS and picked up my very first birth control pills ever.  In my entire life.  I have always staunchly refused to take it because I felt like those chemicals could only do harm to the natural processes in my body.  Natural, Internet.  Let’s be NATURAL.  Although…look at what I’m about to do to myself.

So I held them in my hand and looked at them with serious disdain while I read the directions.  (Did you know that more people die from childbirth every year than die from taking birth control pills?  Because I know that now that I read the stats on the back; apparently birth control pills kill some people.)

I told Joey that I felt this was the last morning in a long, long time that I’ll really be able to feel like me.  I’m currently not jammed with progestin and estrogen and whatever else they’re going to be shooting me up with.  I’m just…me.

Uggggggggh.

See?  Groaning.  But at least it’s not in capital letters this time, right?

Next Wednesday I have my “learn to shoot yourself in the stomach with a needle” appointment.  Boy howdy, am I looking forward to that!

T-minus 2 hours and 15 minutes until I take my first pill.

I may cry.  I seriously may cry.