the (mis)adventures of jenna

Joey and I watched Up this evening.  I carried bowls of hearty beef and vegetable stew I had made this afternoon, simmering it in the oven for three hours until it was tender and flavorful and absolutely delicious, and set them on the TV trays Joey had set up near the futon.  We had canteloupe and some leftover bread with garden veggie cream cheese spread to go with it; a veritable feast.

Henry was salivating and shivering with anticipation (of who knows what) as he sat on the floor watching us eat.

Then Joey started the movie.

I have never had a movie mess up as badly as Up does.  I can barely even look at the DVD case without tearing up.  Up came out two weeks after our miscarriage, and foolishly we decided to make it my first big event post-surgery.  We had no idea what the movie was about, but it’s Woestman Tradition in our house to go to all Pixar movies on opening night.  So I drugged myself way, way up and wore my loosest pants and hunched my way into the theater.

We probably should have waited a few more weeks before seeing this one.

Within the first ten minutes of the movie, Carl and Ellie fall in love, get married, dream of having a baby, miscarry their baby (OH IT’S SO PAINFUL TO WATCH), and then grow old together, just the two of them.  Then she dies and leaves him all alone.

I have never sobbed so hard in a movie in my entire life, and I couldn’t stop for the rest of the film.  It was so annoying, my neck was getting really itchy from all the salty tears.

So tonight, Joey pushed Play on the DVD.  The theme music came on, and I almost lost it.  Then came that terrible opening montage of Carl and Ellie’s life.  The minute all the clouds turned from elephants into tiny little babies, I started crying (knew that was coming.)  And when Ellie came home from the hospital after having her miscarriage and Carl found her sitting on the front lawn, all by herself just crying, I felt like Pixar had made a movie about us.

Then Joey squeezed my hand and I realized we were both sitting on the futon crying.  We’re pals like that.  And then?  Then Henry started in — NO JOKE.  He was sitting by Joey and as he and I were wiping the salty tears out of our eyes, he started wimpering and wailing.

He wanted the beef stew on Joey’s tray.

Joey and I looked at each other, then we looked at Henry (who was still whining and crying) and we had to laugh.  What are the odds of all three of us crying at the same time?

Anyway, after that I was done watching.  I cleaned up the kitchen and worked on a project on the floor so I could be with Joey but not actually watching the movie anymore.  There are few movies I love but that break my heart, and that is one of them.  I’m not sure when I will be able to actually watch it without ruining my makeup, but I am not there yet.

Woah, and I just realized it’s 8:10.  I am overdue for a Follistim injection.  Whoops.  Sorry ovaries…