the (mis)adventures of jenna

I feel only slightly better knowing that fatigue is a side effect of Follistim. I guess it’s really hard to crank out extra egg follicles or something, because I’m absolutely bushed. I could fall asleep typing thiszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Anyway, the shot is going much better. Joey’s a pro. That’s the good news.

This morning we had another doctor’s appointment, this time with ultrasound and bloodwork. I got to see another doc in the practice because they were slammed today and were trying to squeeze in over 50 ultrasounds. This other doc was quite nice, and I liked her.

As near as I can tell, there are quite a few follicles on my right side, but lefty isn’t looking so good. He isn’t feeling so good, either. The doctor went to check that side, and I gasped and almost shot off the table it hurt so bad. Turns out there is a bunch of endometriosis and cysts over there (YAY!) and no follicles.

“Hmm, what’s going on with your left side,” were the words that came out of my doctor’s mouth.

I wanted to beat my head on the exam table. I am so tired of hearing that phrase when it comes to my insides.

She cut the left side exam mercifully short because every time she went over there to look, I gasped or tensed or winced. I guess she figured it wasn’t worth it this early in the game, but OH GOODY won’t Friday’s exam be fun? She also mentioned that it’s so strange that people like me who have such bad endometriosis (which she referred to as a “disease” and freaked me out) don’t usually seem to be in as much pain as the lucky ladies who don’t have it very bad. She also said that Endo patients tend to do pretty well with IVF. She also said that Endo can choke out your ovaries and cause them to not produce any eggs. Oh lovely…

She also assured me that the uncomfortable pressure I feel around my midsection will get worse, probably to the point where I will be wearing only sweatpants to keep pressure off my poor, overstimulated system.

Then Dr. Babyplease came in to look at the pretty pictures of my follicles and cysts. I’m not supposed to start my additional two injections tomorrow (and THAT is something to be thankful for!) but we’ll revisit after Friday’s appointment.

When we left and walked through the waiting room, there were quite a few shell-shocked looking couples sitting there. Several of them were young like we are, and I felt really sorry that they have to be in the same boat that we are. It’s really weird to be sitting in the waiting room at a fertility clinic when you’re still in your 20s. I always thought this was a problem for older ladies or something. (There was a lot I didn’t know back then, though.)

So tomorrow, for Thanksgiving, I will be thankful that I don’t have to start extra shots that day. I will be thankful that we have the chance to try IVF. I will be thankful for Joey, that he gives me shots even though he doesn’t like hurt me. I will be thankful that he is strong for me when I can’t do it anymore. I will be thankful for supportive family and friends. I will be thankful for all y’all who are praying for us.

I have lots to be thankful for, especially in the middle of all of this. Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees, but doing this right in the middle of Thanksgiving can give me a chance to step back and see what I have to be thankful for that I so often overlook.