It’s a beautiful morning.

I woke up about 6:30 after a night of extremely weird sleep (I do not recommend falling asleep at 5:45, waking up again at 8:30, and going back to bed at 10:00) and even stranger dreams.  Pretty much all the dreams involved the following:

• Drinking water or eating food and thus screwing up my procedure
• Calling the Anesthesiologist in the middle of the night; you know, since we have his home phone number
• Getting into a huge, huge catfight at PetSmart with one of the employees over Henry

Like I said, weird sleep.  The PetSmart dream was the weirdest, because it scared me so bad that I had to force myself to wake up from it.

Injected hormones are unstable things.

I wondered what it would feel like to wake up and know that today is the day they’re going to assemble your babies in a lab outside your body, but honestly?  After everything?  It just feels…kind of anticlimactically normal.  Like, this is just how it’s done.

Although yesterday, I was standing with a couple of acquaintances of mine and the two of them were talking about children and how it’s SO FRUSTRATING to have them really close together.  I wasn’t participating in the conversation, just standing there, but as I went to leave one of them said to me, “Oh won’t worry, you have plenty of time.”

Sigh.

IF ONLY.

It absolutely drives me crazy me when people make offhand comments like that, especially THE DAY BEFORE we undergo IVF because oh!  my goodness!  turns out that we don’t have plenty of time!

But whatever.  I’m actually getting used to hearing and responding to stuff like that.  And my usual response (depending on the person and the situation) is to ignore the comment, which is exactly what I did yesterday.

So here starts the waiting game for today.  It’s 7:35 now, and I’m not scheduled to get admitted until 9:45.  I can’t eat any breakfast or drink anything (AAAAUGH!  I am so thirtsty!!!  I hate this part of having surgery the most!!) so I have a really bad feeling my compulsive preparation and cleaning/tidying gene is about to kick in since I have all this extra time.

DIRT!  DUST!  BEWARE OF ME!  Because HERE I COME!