We’re having a rockin’ good time with my parents and The Kid.  Yesterday we went to the Stockyards, pictures later, and today after church we went on a walk around the “lakes” to work off the ice cream we had eaten after lunch.  (The ice cream maker I got works AWESOME and makes delicious ice creams.  Beat that.)

Joey was feeling merciful and let Henry play in the water, so he was good and filthy about half way through our walk.  We had just arrived at the second spot where he likes to get all messy in the water, and Mom and Pops decided to take a break and sit on one of the benches nearby.  A safe distance from Henry and his aquatic carnage.

Henry was being hilarious: sitting, laying, jumping in the water, and Joey and The Kid were totally egging him on.  I was sitting on the bank to stay dry.  Then Pops noticed some ducklings, so we all walked across the grass to check them out.

For Iowans, seeing ducklings in the middle of December is a novelty, no matter what state you’re currently in.

So I padded right over in my Vibrams, enjoying the feel of the grass and twigs beneath my toes.  The ducklings were SO cute, paddling around in the water and trying to avoid contact with a turtle that was floating around.  Then I started noticing that my left foot felt kind of weird.

Then it felt REALLY weird.

Then I noticed a little bit of pain on my weird-feeling left foot, and I glanced down.

“AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!”

I was standing on a fire ant hole, and about half of my foot was so covered in ants I couldn’t even see my Vibram shoe anymore.

Naturally me screaming bloody murder alarmed Mom, Pops, The Kid, and primarily Joey.  I continued screaming but, being genetically Laird, was not having much luck at articulating what was wrong with me.  I finally managed to choke out “FIRE ANTS!” about the same time I remembered that if you have fire ants biting you in large quantities, water is what works to get them off.

And there was an entire lake right in front of me.

I ran (still screaming) to the shallow part and shoved my left foot in the water, ants flying everywhere.  By this time, Pops and Joey were at hand, both feverishly attempting to brush the ants off my pant legs and in to the water.  It was a fairly successful joint effort, until I realized the ants had traveled UP my pants in an effort to stay out of the water and away from all the hands trying to brush them off.

Remember how I said it would be really cool to get swarmed by fire ants just ONCE while we lived in Texas?  Well, it’s not that cool.

Long story short, I managed to remove all the ants from my pants and from my feet, and from my Vibrams.  I think I only scored about 5 bites from the whole incident, too, because we were working very quickly.

Now I have to get ready to go sing in a wedding.  Pops is sleeping on the couch (it amazes me how fast he falls asleep), Joey is playing Hoards of Orcs, Mom is taking a nap on my bed, and The Kid is doing something…I don’t know what…let me ask him — he says “being productive” but I really don’t believe that for a second.

So…that’s all for now.  Fire ants.