Almost overnight, we discovered that we now have a new term for “infertility” in our house. Oh yes. Yes, Internet, it is now called “Fort Worth”. (Thank you, foot-in-mouth Womens Ministry Lady.)
Last night we were sitting on the futon, which I hate and am dying to replace because it is colossally uncomfy, when I said, “I’m sorry I’m in Fort Worth.”
Joey snapped his head around and looked at me. ”HEY,” he said.
“No, seriously.” I sighed. ”Sometimes I am afraid you’ll wish you married someone else…someone who wasn’t in Fort Worth so then you could have kids.”
“Stop that right now,” Joey told me. ”WE are in Fort Worth. WE are. Not you.”
I sighed again. Because really that does bother me, it bothers me a lot.
“I don’t want to be married to anyone else, even if they could have dozens of kids. I want to be married to YOU. Even if that means we have to be in Fort Worth.” And he squeezed my hand tightly.
“OK,” I squeaked.
A few moments later; “At least there are the Stockyards in Fort Worth,” I said. (In the real Fort Worth, that is.)
Joey just laughed at me. ”Way to think positive,” he said.
“And I do call you Cow already.” (It’s true, I call Joey Cow because I like cows and I like Joey so…of course I’d call him Cow.)
So I guess we’ll do just fine in Fort Worth. Since we have to be there.
Hi Jenna
I don’t know if I have commented on your blog before or not.. I do lurk around here from time to time. On a funny note before I get to the serious stuff, my husband’s and my names are almost the same as yours and Joey’s (though I don’t use them on the blog…), on a not so funny one, we’re also in Fort Worth.
E and I have discussed our being there as well, and I got the same response (or close enough) as you did. It’s so affirming to know that our husbands are with us for us, whether we can have kids with them or not.
I am so sorry you are “in Fort Worth” though (and what a way to change something so awkward and just strange into a more… I don’t want to say positive thing, but … what a way to use it as something other than just that awkward moment that was had)… and I wish you all the best with your journey. I’m sorry it’s so hard, I wish I could make it easier for all of us. ((hugs))
J
http://autoimmunelife.wordpress.com
Its difficult, I know. But it can also be something to draw you guys closer together. Alow your husband to affirm you in this and to encourage oyu. And yes, its my experience that we men generally really DO look at it like its the couple in ‘Ft. Worth’.
Someitmes it might feel like its your “fault” or something equally self-condemning, but you must remember that it is GOD who opens and closes wombs. God has purpose in this difficult time in your life and it will be for the good of those who love Him.
Hang in there and know that God loves you.
If you’re going to be in Fort Worth with someone, it’s best to be in Fort Worth with someone you love.
And Joey is just wonderful.