So, I read the “Don’t Carpe Diem” article everyone’s sharing around on Facebook. And you know what? I think I may be, like, the ONLY person on the whole Internet who didn’t love it.
Maybe that’s because Analie is in such a magical stage right now. Guys, every single day I get all misty and choked up because she is so amazing and so sweet; I just wish she’d stay like this forever.
But I know she won’t.
And I hate that.
Sure, yesterday she noticed I hadn’t latched the Tupperware cabinet and emptied the entire thing on the kitchen floor within a matter of 25 seconds. But the look on her face of utter joy in the discovery was absolutely unparalleled. It took me probably 2 minutes to clean up and reorganize the disaster once she was down for a nap, but two minutes of my time is a drop in the bucket when it comes to filling Analie’s days with the beginnings of rich life experiences. (Even if it IS only Tupperware.)
Sometimes I feel frustrated by the negativity that can surround being a mommy. I feel like we mommies get so caught up in expecting our children to behave like they’re years older than they really are so it will be more convenient for us…when what they really need is for us to get on our knees with them (even though it HURTS these days, right?!) and crawl around the house, pull stuff out of drawers and bang blocks together.
Discover life on Analie’s terms. Not mine.
And isn’t that why I chose to become a mommy? To do life with my baby? Even when it hurts? Or annoys me? Or wears me down?
Maybe this stems from the increasing panic I am feeling about losing my “baby” as she grows up. But Analie’s earliest picture of Jesus is going to be what she sees in Joey and I. And one of my biggest prayers these days is that what she absorbs about Him isn’t that she has to fit into the predetermined behavior box we’ve made for her based on the behavior books we’ve read by well-intentioned Christian authors, or just what makes our lives more convenient.
I want the moments to matter. The late nights and early mornings aren’t forever. And I know that someday, when I look back on the early years of Analie’s life, I don’t want to regret my lazy parenting choices.
(AND OH MY GOSH, doesn’t the Internet make it so easy to be a lazy mommy? Does for me!)
I hope nobody reading this feels judged. That’s totally not my intention. Because I am at least 60% less awesome at being a mom than I think I am.
But I’m Analie’s mama.
And I’m the only one she’ll ever have.
I want to make it count.
If its the article I read I didnt like it either. I found it very negative, and yes sometimes being a mom is hard, and the kids annoy me, but thats not ALL that it is, its only about %2 of mommyhood. Its true too that they grow up way to fast and even 5 years down the road Im going to miss having my baby to snuggle or those embarrasing shopping trips when the kids are naughty. Im going to even miss potty training because it means my kids arent 2 anymore. I try to find the humor in the bad times and embrace the chaos. So your not the only one who didnt like it, I too disliked it. Being a mom IS the best job in the world.
YES IT IS!
I put in 50 hours a week working, Add another 20 hours worth of commute time to it and it’s 70 hours I’m spending away from my family. Trying to squeeze in as much as I can when I’m home is really tough. I liked the article because it gave me a sense that I wasn’t alone out there. I love my girls and they are a true gift. Circumstances are such that I am unable to be home with them full time. Reading those words helped me feel less inadequate and a bit more “normal.” Not that I’m striving for normalcy, it’s just nice to know that I’m not the only one going crazy.
I think you are an awesome mother and I love reading about your experiences with Analie. The patience and nurturing you share on here is inspiring. I wish more parents were equally as engaged. If they were, I know the world our girls would be inheriting would be infinitely better. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your perspective, Bianca! You are such a great mom; honestly, are one of the moms I look up to as an example! I love your down to earth approach and natural mothering instinct.
My hope is that when I have a someone to mommy I won’t expect them to act older than they are either. I want to get down on their level and play and explore. I want them to see Jesus’ love shining through my actions.
I want to be the kind of mom you seem to be. Because my babies deserve a mom that puts an emphasis on raising them as they should be raised instead of focusing on what this expert or that part of society says they should raised.
I can totally relate to this right now. She finds the exact places I thought I could hide from and keep in my organized state. She finds those places and things and gets so excited and wants to even show me her finds. I have to remind my selfish self not to react with immediately “nono” and rushing everything back to its perfect little home. I am in charge of keeping my home neat, organized, and clean, but ultimately it supposed to be a home to nurture children and if that means a moment here and there to let her make those joyful little, non-long-term messes, then so be it!! Soak the moment it and let myself even tear up a bit, then squeeze her and thank God for the best job He could ever give to me.