I must preface by saying that when I get scared, I am either yell unintelligble sounds (ex: “MEEUGGGGH! HEMMA, HDIIIDGGG!”) or am overly articulate (ex: “Please be careful of my safety!” or “IMMINENT DOOM!”).
I never know what I’m planning to say, either. I just…say it. It’s kind of a stream of consciousness thing. And yesterday was no exception.
Joey and I were driving home from church listening to CarTalk. We drove into our parking space just as something really interesting came on.
“I want to hear this!” Joey said, bummed that we were getting out of the car.
“Well, it just started, so if we hurry and get in the house we won’t miss much,” I said.
So, Joey turned off the car and jumped out. I was moving slower, like usual, in my high heels and, just as I opened my door and put my foot on the ground, I noticed something. The car was moving.
Then I realized that Joey had forgotten to put the parking break on.
It was one of those situations where my brain ceases to function normally. I remember thinking, “YELL SOMETHING so he can fix it!” Unfortunately, though, that was as far as my rationality lasted, and what I yelled was,
“BE CAREFUL! You’re…an idiot!”
Joey, who is used to my semi-articulate terrified exclamations, instantly figured out what was wrong (the car was rolling and I couldn’t stop it) and dove inside to pull the parking break. Which, when I thought about it later, I could have done too.
“I almost died!” I said.
“Um, no you didn’t,” Joey assured me. Then, “Do you remember what you yelled?”
“Uhhh….yes,” I said, sheepishly. “But I don’t really think you’re an idiot.”
“I know,” Joey said. “But you have to blog about this, so that everyone knows you have Tourettes whenever you get scared.”
“Really?” I asked.
“Really,” he said.
“But…but then I have to call you an idiot on the interwebs,” I said. I really didn’t want to.
“Yep,” he said. Joey was apparently unscathed by my previous insult, and, thus, I have paid my debt and now posted about how I have Tourettes.
At least my version doesn’t make me cuss.
