This morning we got up and went to Analie’s four week doctor’s appointment.  Yes, yes, I realize she’s six weeks old, not four weeks.  But that whole unscheduled appointment two weeks ago threw her appointment schedule off and so now we’re just all discombobulated.

After the SHE HAS ONLY GAINED 1.5 OUNCES IN A WEEK?!? freak-out from the appointment two weeks ago, Analie has been getting fed often.  A lot.  Muchos.  Fortunately, her appetite has increased, like, tenfold and that makes the whole feeding thing a lot easier to do.

We’ve been weighing her every few days on my food scale, which we have gerrymandered with a cookie sheet and paper towel.  It only goes up to 11 lbs, though, so our days of weighing her at home are numbered.  We’d been encouraged to see the numbers go up and up and up over the past few days, so we were expecting a good report from her pediatrician.  So between the weight gain and the diaper results, there was much to look forward to.

We saved Analie’s near blown-out diaper to take brought back for a re-check to see if there was any hemoglobin in it.

Aaaaaaand it was NEGATIVE!

That’s good in the sense that yes, we have eliminated her tummy problems.

It’s bad in the sense that I cannot have a cheese pizza.  Or chocolate.  Or really anything that is deliciously creamy.

I really want a medium Pizza Hut Cheese Lover’s Pan Pizza all to myself. RIGHT NOW.  But it would make me sick for two reasons:

1. I have never eaten more than three pieces of pizza in one day before and a whole pizza might make me esplode.
2. I myself am lactose intolerant and after two weeks of zero dairy, I shudder to think how sick I would be if I ate an entire cheese pizza

Our pediatrician said when Analie is 9 months old, we’ll have me eat some yogurt (although, if we’re experimenting and the results may be disastrous, I prefer to eat something delicious like chocolate) and see what happens to her.  I think that sounds kind of cruel.

At least we know what the problem is for certain sure, and it’s easy enough to fix.

I just still want me some pizza.

Oh, and did I mention the child gained a whole pound in two weeks?  That’s a whole bunch better than 1.5 ounces, wouldn’t you say?  Unfortunately, she’s still wearing newborn size clothes.  At this rate, the girl’s going to actually be three months old before she fits into her 0-3 month size clothes…

The orthopedic doc appointment was today.  Analie and I didn’t sleep all that well last night and Joey found us on the couch at 7:00 when the alarm went off.  I was still 90% asleep, so he told me he’d just run through the shower and wake me up when he was done.

Well, by the time I fed Analie and got us ready to go, there was no time to put on any makeup or really do much to my hair for that matter.  There also wasn’t much time for breakfast, which I could see meant another shaky morning for me.  I have got to figure out what I can eat for breakfast that is a.) nutritiousy and b.) something I can grab quickly.  I can’t skip it, but I am forgetting to eat it until about, oh, 11:00 and by then it’s too late to call it breakfast.

Anyway.

After I tossed back a glass of orange juice like a frat boy and took a bite of a Clif bar Joey found in the cupboard, we loaded ourselves up in in the (FREEZING COLD) car and drove the short distance to Payton Manning Children’s Hospital, where Analie’s doctor is.

I was already starting to feel slightly terrified/weepy as we walked in, so I focused myself on filling out the paperwork required for a new patient.  Then, all too quickly, they called us back.

The room was decorated with Disney Princess dresses hanging on the walls, but it was freezing cold.  I wrapped Analie up in her snuggle blanket and walked around the room with her, mostly to burn off my nervous energy.  After five minutes, I gave her to Joey and tried to sit down.  But, within thirty seconds I was back up on my feet and pacing around the room.

Fortunately, the doctor came in not long after.  He was extremely gentle with Analie, and with us too, and we liked him instantly.  Joey (who is very apt to become fiercely loyal to doctors with good beside manner) was giving him the We Will Do Anything You Tell Us To Do look.  I am familiar with this look of Joey’s as I have seen it often in the last several years.

The report on Analie’s hips was as follows: the right one has corrected itself over the last two weeks, but the left one is still loose.  This is easily corrected, said the doctor, by wearing a Pavlik brace for several weeks.

The minute he said Pavlik brace, I started crying.  Analie, on the other hand, was totally unphased.

As he explained what the brace would do, tears just kept streaming down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop them.  Finally, the doctor took pity on me and told me that all moms cry when he says “Pavlik brace”, and he would be concerned about us if I wasn’t bawling.

Well, I guess that’s slightly reassuring.

“It’ll probably just be 4-6 weeks she needs to wear the brace,” he said.  ”Probably a few weeks with it on all the time, then a few weeks with it only at night.  She should be just fine at the end of it, the brace has a 99% effective rate.”

I just stood there and dripped tears off my cheeks.  Joey said something to the effect of fine, good, whatever.

The doctor left and moments later, the nurse came back in carrying a small plastic bag full of velcro strips.  The harness.  She laid it out on the exam table and put Analie over it, carefully adjusting the straps into place.

Aaaaand I just cried.  Joey watched with interest, knowing he’d be the one to have to sort it out if something went wrong when I took it off to change her outfit or something.  Analie?  She was wide-eyed and looking around at everything but the brace.  She did not care a single bit that she was all hiked up into a frog-leg position and wearing bulky velcro all around her little body.

The nurse had me pick her up when the brace was adjusted, and I instantly hated the feeling of scratchy velcro strips where there should be soft babiness.  But only for 4-6 weeks, right?  And then I can have my soft, snuggly baby back.  Analie cuddled in right under my chin, like always, and I patted her back while trying to ignore the big velcro X that covered most of it.

After the harness was on, the nurse left for a moment and said the doctor would be back in to check the positions and mark where we should be putting the velcro.

“We should call the harness Frank,” Joey said.

I sniffled and rubbed cheeks with Analie.  They are still soft and not affected by the harness, at least.  ”Ok,” I said.

All in all, the only one who fared badly at the orthopedic doc was me.  But I had kind of been expecting that, which was the primary reason why I didn’t bother to put any makeup on this morning.  We’ll go back next Wednesday to re-check things.  I am hoping by then we’ll just be able to back off to wearing it only at night.

I’m thankful that we are able to fix the problem, and I’m thankful that they caught it early.  I just hate the thought that random people are going to look at Analie and wonder what’s wrong with her.

She’s asleep right now, and I’ve kept her wrapped up in a swaddle blanket all day. Because every time I look at the harness I just burst into tears.  All this crying is almost getting humorous; well, for everyone except for me, that is.