Tag: the brother

Back in the Day …

A couple of weeks ago, much to my chagrin, Chang and Angel stumbled upon a DVD on our shelf and made us watch it.  I’m not even sure what this particular DVD was doing on our shelf in the first place.  I think it technically belongs to the Parents, but at some point which I do not remember, we must have borrowed it from them. Why, I do not know, as I do not tend to enjoy subjecting myself to the kind of torture that is watching that DVD.

You see, it is a home video from the year of 1995. You know, the year of big hair, leotards, and stirrup pants.  It was also the year I turned thirteen and suffered from all of the above.  That was the year all of us kids got together with our childhood friends, Nicki and Dustin, and produced a play based on Adventures in Odyssey’s episode “The Vow.”  For years, it had been our favorite radio drama, but this was the year we were going to turn it into our very own production.  I, however, was entering the teen years, and it wasn’t necessarily “cool” to listen to radio drama anymore.  My younger siblings hadn’t caught up with the trends yet and were still obsessed, so they spent months writing the scripts (and trying to understand what terms like “fade-away jumper” and “documentaries” were), building the sets, and rehearsing parts.  Nicki and I were roped into playing the parts of Donna and Jesse and grudgingly went along with it.  In the end, we invited our parents, grandparents, and a lonely neighbor down the street to our live performance.

In the moment of putting stuff like that together, you have no idea how humiliating it will be years down the road. The movie is probably not as embarrassing to The Brother, as he rocked in his Lakers Jersey, or to The Kid, who was five and Just. Plain. Adorable in his walk-on role.  But for me, it’s one of those movies that makes me cover my face and watch through my fingertips due to my bad hair and oldschool fashions.

However, it is good for one thing, and that is comic relief.  So, despite the fact that I said I never wanted anyone else to see this again, I gotta admit it is Highly Amusing and may be worth the humiliation I may suffer in order to share it with the rest of you.  It won’t be winning any awards, but it always gives my family a lot of laughs every time we watch and reminisce.

Kids, don’t try this at home. Unless you want to be subject to blackmail at some later point in your life.

This Is About The Time I Crushed Up 13 Boxes Of Black Snakes And Lit Them On Fire

Did you grow up doing Black Snakes on the Fourth of July?

I totally did.

I think they’re amazing.  Joey thinks they’re super lame.  (Sometimes I think JOEY is super lame.  I told him this in the fireworks store when he was making fun of me for freaking out about the black snakes, so don’t worry.  He knows.  And he’s cool with it.)

Anyway, I happened to be talking to The Brother about a totally different topic on Sunday afternoon, and he suggested that I try something one of his compatriots grew up doing.  Smash up 10 boxes worth of black snakes and put them in a coffee can and light it on fire.

Um, YES PLEASE.

So yesterday, I bought 13 boxes because they were on sale for super cheap.

And we don’t buy coffee that comes in cans so I used a diced tomato can, which is a little smaller and I figured would intensify whatever happened with the crushed snake powder.

I put the 78 Black Snake pellets into a freezer baggie (for extra durability) and took them out to the driveway and crushed them up very good by walking on them.  It’s the one time in my life that I have found it convenient that I weigh over 100 libs.

Then, I went inside and informed Joey how many snakes I had bought.  I didn’t think he would care about my experiment so I’d planned to do it while he was at work because:

a.) he had told me black snakes were stupid

and, b.) he had told me black snakes were stupid.

I didn’t figure he’d want to waste his time on watching something stupid.  HOWEVER.  When I informed him how many snakes I’d bought, he was all, “Wow, that sounds really stupid.  Uhhhhh, you’d better wait until I get home to do it.”

Yeah.  He obviously think it’s really stupid.

(How many times can I use the word “stupid” in a blog post?  LOTS!  and LOTS!)

I also invited Angel to come over, because she had seemed skeptical that I’d really try this and she kept being the voice of caution, suggesting I could blow and arm or eyeball off.  (That’s obviously why we moved so close to a hospital.  Safety first.)  At 6:00 yesterday evening, conditions were right to light my can of smashed up snakes on fire.

It was my favorite.

Angel’s commentary in the background was totally worth the $3.00 I spent on the snakes.  It’s pretty much the 2nd best part of the video (hi Angel!), a close second only to the erupting mound of flaming snake.

And of course we had to destroy the flaming mound of, um, Black Snake after its fire was extinguished.